3.2.2003

    I had everyone warn me to 100% on IM. It's very annoying after a while. And I listened to Undertow, Aenima, and Lateralus, and all the videos right in a row. That's 4:26:14 of straight TOOL. I have no life.
posted by zacky at 02:10     


    When you see posts, check the time that i posted at, cuz if it's before 6, i'm talking completly about the day before. For example, you see 3.2.2003, but it still feels like 3.1.2003, so that's how I'm talking.
posted by zacky at 00:48     


    And I could have gone to the intensive if I weren't such a DUMBASS. (don't be cruel, man)
posted by zacky at 00:47     


    Hiya. Went to band practice. It was good. Nothing else happened today... I think lack of sleep is making me sick.
posted by zacky at 00:46     

3.1.2003

    I feel better. YAY! Band practice in 3 hours! ACK! But I'm totally missing the Aikido Intensive, cuz i woke up really late cuz i was sick last night. I feel so bad. And it's gonna be really tough to tell Mr. Cuffy, cuz he's scary, and I value his respect, which I think will be lessened by this. But ok. ... Huh? Ok, I think I'm done.
posted by zacky at 14:32     

2.28.2003

    I think I'm sick. I don't wanna barf. I don't feel like i'm gonna. But I'm scared of barfing. It's bad.
posted by zacky at 21:41     


    OOH! When we were at Old Town, I made Bruno laugh, and like, GALLONS of snot came out of his nose. And we were outside, so he had to wipe his face with snow. He's gonna beat me up for telling you. Heheh.
posted by zacky at 21:07     


    That's better. The COA-MATT Boy Into Man weekend was canceled, so I can FINALLY go to a band practice at Kay's, who is fortunately ok. Or ok as Kay gets. Which isn't a lot, but better than dead. Yeah. I'm done.
posted by zacky at 20:58     


    Ok. Hi. NO SCHOOL! I had fun today. Went to Old Town with Emma and Jeff and Bruno and Alex and Lizzi. We went to HoMT, and played guitars and I got 6 new picks. Came back with Alex and Bruno. My head feels funny. I hope i didn't get messed up by the burning spray paint flamethrower, cuz brain damage would suck. I'm really paranoid about that stuff. I have to pee.
posted by zacky at 20:56     

2.27.2003

    Anima = the soul
Enema = cleansing (usually of the anal cavity)
Anima + Enema = Ænima
Ænima = cleansing of the soul
posted by zacky at 00:10     


    Ughhh...I hate school. I hate the classes, I hate the timeframe. Ugh. I don't want to help Emma anymore. I just want to stay at home and play my bass and be warm, and sleep. SLEEP!!! I hate homework. I hate that I still like Nessa. I hate how she treats me. I hate how beautiful she is. I hate going to sleep. I hate waking up. I hate hating everything. I hate war. I hate ignorance. I hate snow. I hate not being able to control myself, and I hate having so much self control. I hate having to be GOOD all the time. I just want to hit someone. REALLY HARD. But I can't cuz I'd regret it. Yesterday I was full with the joy of life. Now today, I feel like this. Tomorrow, maybe I'll be full of anger and rage, and everyone will get pissed and blahblahblah... I'm out of words to say. Thoughts to think. I'm not myself. The little rational me in my head is spewing arguments to everything I say. I wonder what it's like to be schizophrenic? I wonder, if one day, I'll wake up, and be two people. I wonder if I'll recognize it. I wonder if schizophrenic people, before diagnosed, think, "oh, shit, I must be schizophrenic (yeah, i think you are too)." I dunno. My brain isn't empty yet. I'll stop when it is. EVERYTHING IS PROPAGANDA FOR SOMETHING. If girls tried, they could control the world. Nothing can really hijack your thoughts like a girl can. "My only love, sprung from my only hate." I hate English class too. I think the world would be better if everyone listened to Tool. Nothing they say is bad. I hate this winter, I wish it would go away. The most poetic thing I've ever said: "I need to climb until all i can think about is the ache in my arms, and forget about the ache in my heart." Guess who put it there? YOU DID!! I don't get it. What happened? I don't know. Oh, well, whatever, never mind. 50 cool points if you can tell me what song that last sentence was from. I wonder if this blog posty thing has a limit. That would be cool. But whatever. If you read all the way through this ænima, then good job, but you have to get your own life, sweetie. I wonder if I sound like this in real life. We need more real people. Who don't hide their motives or feelings. Who are honest. I've come to a realization. I've said many times before, that with the advent of civilization and technology, homo sapiens has stopped evolving. But I was wrong. In reality, technology and civilization has only halted our physical evolution. Not to say we will regress, but we aren't going anywhere. Technology and civilization has in fact opened our full mental and psychic potential. Unfortunately, too many people don't see this. Things like this don't work unless EVERYONE wants to help. Like communism. Our good ideas make us vulnerable. But better vulnerable then valueless. The real people realize the above revelation. Spread the word, "bugger"!! Know that in truth, the world is a wondrous place, and that everybody deserves to live until their body goes. Nothing stops being interesting, and if you're bored, go for a walk. Find a cool bug, or an intesesting pattern in the sidewalk. Don't let love bring you down, it's supposed to lift you up. If it's not, it's not love. Get out. Stay outside, and feel the air. Go to the middle of a desert, and feel air untainted by human doings. Sleep on a mountain top. Good job, but get a life, sweetie. Spiral out.
posted by zacky at 00:02     

2.26.2003

    I'm ok now. HOLY SHIT!!!! Kay tried to commit suicide. I called the police, and everyone says I saved her life. Although, don't get mad at me, but I still am slightly skeptical. For one, this whole thing happened over IM. Second, she claims she took 46 Ibuprofen and 3 shots of Vodka. And then she says the cop guy just had her barf it and then he left. I think if you loaded yourslef with that much chemical, you'd need to go to the emergency room FAST. And then they wouldn't send you home. You'd go to the psych ward, for extensive psychological evaluation, and counseling, and everything, and I DON'T think they would give you access to a computer to get BACK on IM to tell your friends you were ok. I just can't understand why she would lie about that. But then, I don't really know Kay that well. And if you read this, don't go blurting it to people, and don't go ask Kay if she's ok. That's just too much. Wow, this was a surreal day. With the snow, and the letting out early, and this whole suicide thing, just totally mind-blisteringly surreal. But that's cool. I needed a little break from reality.
posted by zacky at 23:16     


    ...or maybe not...
posted by zacky at 08:54     

2.25.2003

    WAIT, NO! I also REALLY want to go rock climbing, and I can't for 2 weeks. AND I can hang out with Nessa without wanting to kill something now. YAY! All is well in Zackland/Rothmania/WHATEVER, the point IS that I'm happy. Which is good.
posted by zacky at 17:57     


    WOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I learned Lateralus by Tool on my bass. The WHOLE thing. Very cool. Now, here's Tom, with sports...
posted by zacky at 17:53     


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